


After

by kristenswanmills



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 01:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20073559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristenswanmills/pseuds/kristenswanmills
Summary: It’s what she had wanted: someone to publicly claim her as theirs, not shamefully hide her and their relationship away from the world. She chose this, it’s what she wanted…except this isn’t at all what she wanted.





	After

**Author's Note:**

> Total angst. The ladies aren't actually together in this at all. You've been warned. Mild trigger warning for rape/non-con.

Emma feels her presence before she sees it. “What do you want, Regina?”

Regina is standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. She hasn’t entered the room, doesn’t want to risk what she might do in Emma’s presence, doesn’t want to risk being told to leave. “I wanted to see you.”

Emma turns to face her. It’s one of those rare occasions where Regina has left the house in something other than professional wear. She’s wearing Emma’s favorite pair of her jeans (the ones that always have Emma’s hands finding their way to her ass) and a loose black button down shirt. It’s as casual as Regina Mills ever gets, and it’s not something many people have seen. (Emma’s missed being able to see it, silently treasures the visual now.) “Well, you’ve seen me,” she says.

“Emma—”

“What more do you want from me?”

Regina sighs. “I want to talk.”

Emma scoffs. “Because talking went so well for us the last time.”

“Please.”

There’s a desperation to Regina’s voice that has Emma aching, longing to surrender—but no. No, she won’t—_can’t. _She’s with Lily now. Hidden, secret things with Regina are over, and public things with Lily are what she has now. It’s what she had wanted: someone to publicly claim her as theirs, not shamefully hide her and their relationship away from the world. She chose this, it’s what she wanted…except this isn’t at all what she wanted. She hadn’t wanted just anyone to publicly claim their relationship, she wanted _Regina_ to do it. But that conversation had gone horribly, horribly wrong, and, well, now she finds herself with Lily. She’s not even exactly sure how it happened, but it’s what she has now.

When Emma doesn’t respond, Regina tries again. “I miss you,” she says; Emma’s heart skips a beat. “I—”

“Emma?” The voice that cuts Regina off of course is none other than Lily’s.

Regina sighs. Of course it’s Lily, there to take something else from her just like she’d taken Emma. A small voice in Regina’s head reminds her that’s not exactly how it happened; she ignores it.

Lily goes silent when she sees the two of them together. She’s no idiot, she knows Emma still has feelings for her ex.

“I should go.” Regina excuses herself, and retreats from her tentative place in the doorway (she never did quite make it completely into the room).

Emma watches her leave and rubs a hand to her temples. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“Are you okay?” Lily asks.

Words fail her at the moment, and Emma can only nod.

Lily comes over and wraps an arm around her, kisses her cheek. “Come on,” she says. “Let’s go home.”

Only it isn’t Emma’s home they’re going to. Not really. Yes, she’s moved into Lily’s apartment (she still secretly regrets that decision), but she has yet to feel at home there. Her real home is a place she’s never completely lived in, but it’s home to the two loves of her life—her son and his other mother—and it’s the only place she’s ever felt like she truly belongs. Even so, Emma lets Lily lead her out of there, away from Regina. She doesn’t miss the way Regina watches them leave. She definitely doesn’t miss the hurt written across Regina’s face as it happens.

* * *

They make it back to their apartment, and of course Lily wants to have sex. Emma’s not in the mood (she never is after she’s just seen Regina, which is precisely why Lily wants to), but Emma gives in, knowing it will only cause a fight if she doesn’t. And she’s had enough fights (with Regina) to last a lifetime; she doesn’t need any more.

The sex is mediocre at best. Lily tries, but she just doesn’t know Emma’s body. Not the way Regina does. She doesn’t know how to touch her just so to make her see stars. Lily touches her tentatively, like Emma’s going to tell her to stop, and Emma wishes she had it in her to do just that. But instead, she lets Lily continue, fingers grazing her folds until they focus on her clit in steady circles. Lily kisses her neck as she rubs two fingers around and around her clit. It’s not doing it for Emma, so Lily changes tactics. Without warning, she thrusts two fingers into Emma’s cunt, and receives Emma’s first real moan of the night. (It’s not from Lily’s action, though, it’s from the memory of Regina taking her so hard against a wall with her fingers that she nearly came on the spot.) The only way Emma can be even slightly responsive is to imagine the fingers inside her are Regina’s, and yeah, she realizes how fucked up that is, but it’s better than being a completely unresponsive pillow princess, right? Wrong. Because her imagination is too good. She has the memories of a thousand fucks with Regina and they’re so good, so overpowering that despite it being Lily’s fingers buried inside her, Emma comes with a scream.

As soon as the sound leaves her mouth, Lily’s fingers hastily withdraw and all physical contact is revoked. It takes Emma a moment to process what happened, and when she finally does, she clamps a hand over her mouth as she gasps.

_Regina_. She had screamed _Regina._


End file.
